Category: Email of the Week

This week, Dave-Dad:

Hi Liam,

Your Big Chill tickets arrived this am.

Dad.

My response to this news is best expressed in the words of Alan Partridge.

JURASSIC PARK!

From Jon:

Fearn and me found a live rat in the bin outside the other day and had to kill it. First I tried hitting it with a pole and then tried smoking it out. Nothing worked so Fearn poured boiling water over it. He’s changed now, has a distant look in his eyes like solider back from Nam.

You can’t let a rat go.

This has a certain essential beauty, I feel. Transcendent almost. Quivering, naked, raw.

This week, Kelvin:

Oh, last night at about two in the morning, there was a bizarre film about a man without a head, who was worried that his lack of bonce would prove to be a hindrance in his love life, so saved up money to buy a noggin, only to discover, of course, that the love of his life cares not a jot whether he has a head or not, and in fact loves him for who he is.

The first scene I caught as I channel-hopped had the headless one dancing about his poor attic apartment in a tuxedo, Fred Astaire style. I knew immediately that it was French.

Does anyone know what this movie is called and where I can find it?

In a craven attempt to get people to send me more splendidly written email – and so I have more material to fill the blog on slow days – I have decided to blog the wittiest, coolest, funniest sentence/paragraph/section of email I get each week.

This week’s comes from my mate Neil:

Cancelled my psychotherapy session due to cranial fibrillations elicited by last night’s assimilation of a quantity of alcohol toxic to all but the resolutely anaerobic respirers of the amoebic realm. Thus, have time to write sentences so long and ostentatiously verbose as to provoke a green line from my spelling and grammar checker. Currently sweating neat scotch into my dressing gown having only relatively recently attempted verticality.

Friends, readers, you are all fodder.