Today has been comment spam day. I just had to delete about fifty gibberish comments, all linking to an online poker website. Consequently I’ve installed a spam filter. Let me know if your legitimate comments don’t make it past my new security measures.
Coming soon: metal detectors, shoe searches, magic puffer machines which blow your shirt up in search of boobies and, allegedly, traces of explosive dust, and my personal favourite, cavity searches!
25/04/2005
Just testing the spam filter.
25/04/2005
I love poker… more than I love viagra.
25/04/2005
Dear Mr Creighton
I apologise for the intrusion. My name is Dr Julius No, and I wish to inform you of a very special offer. Recently, $100,000,000 (US) was found resting in an unnamed account, and due to the banking regulations of the Carribean, this money must be claimed or it will be lost; however I cannot claim it directly. As such, I propose the following. If you provide your banking details, the full amount will be paid into your account, then it can be transferred into my Swiss account, upon which I will give you a full 10% of the total as thanks for your assistance.
Interfering with US missile launches as part of a plan for global domination can be, as you’d expect, quite expensive, and I would very much appreciate your help on this matter. Please email me with your details when it is convenient.
Sincerely,
Doctor Julius No.
27/04/2005
As long as you don’t ask for a urine sample.
28/04/2005
In order to get to my email account at work I have a pass (building), a number (dept code), a little smiling man (checking I look familar), pass again (some random no purpose doors), password 1 (turn on computer), password 2 (make computer do something), password 1 again (email).
Glasto wants me to get a “Citizenship card” (precursor to ID cards…).
Liam’s computer is trying to stop my wittering!!!
Why did you have to go and go that, Liam?. Ben would’ve enjoyed the viagra, and I just can’t take any more security systems.
It’s all gone horribly wrong.
28/04/2005
But would you have enjoyed hundreds of gibberish messages all inviting you to play online poker?
The spam trap’s pretty good at recognising valid email. It only seems to ask for other stuff if something is seriously dodgy.
Plus, I like administering cavity searches.
13/05/2005
Where’s Liam?
15/05/2005
Liam rather foolishly said to one of his co-workers “I say, this US government is a bit shifty isn’t it?”
That co-worker then phoned up Homeland Security, and Liam was shipped off to Guantanamo Bay for “re-education”.
Or alternatively, his parents have been visiting, so he’s abandoned the rest of us as mere flotsam in his life… ;)