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Cycle Karma

Apologies, this is a very Davis-centric post. Rachel, one of my regular coffee shop customers, recently mentioned that she’s riding her bike 100 miles around Lake Tahoe in aid of a young lad with acute lymphocytic leukaemia. This is a big effort, and earns her several hundred Junkopia kudos points.Rachel’s blog, which documents the endeavour, is worth a look, although I’m sure what she really wants is for people to go to the donation page.

Email of the Week 4th – 10th April

In a craven attempt to get people to send me more splendidly written email – and so I have more material to fill the blog on slow days – I have decided to blog the wittiest, coolest, funniest sentence/paragraph/section of email I get each week.

This week’s comes from my mate Neil:

Cancelled my psychotherapy session due to cranial fibrillations elicited by last night’s assimilation of a quantity of alcohol toxic to all but the resolutely anaerobic respirers of the amoebic realm. Thus, have time to write sentences so long and ostentatiously verbose as to provoke a green line from my spelling and grammar checker. Currently sweating neat scotch into my dressing gown having only relatively recently attempted verticality.

Friends, readers, you are all fodder.

Lest We Forget

St. Bono of U2

According to Bono he was "the best frontman" the catholic church ever had. Yes, really. Everyone remotely famous has been queueing up to pay similarly ridiculous respects since Karol Wojtyla, the artist formerly known as Pope John Paul II, shuffled off his mortal coil, ran down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

So, if John Paul II is Top of the Popes, what does the rest of the top ten look like?

  1. John Paul II (1978 – 2005) – BEST POPE EVER!!!
  2. St. Peter (32 – 67) – Seminal. The original founding father. Kudos.
  3. Urban III (1185 – 87) – Introduced hip-hop liturgies and masses. “Was intimate” with the archdeacon of Bath. Killed by the Byzantines in a drive-by shooting, fo’shizzle.
  4. St. Innocent I (401 – 17) – Honestly didn’t touch the choirboys. Flaunted convention by wearing one glove and "moonwalking" backwards.
  5. St. Hilarius (461 – 68) – Always had the most whoopee cushions at seminary school. Founder member of the Bonzo Dog Papal Band.
  6. St. Zephyrinus (198 – 217) – Affectionately known to cardinals as “the old windbag,” this Pope is said to be Tom Jones’ early inspiration.
  7. St. Simplicius (468 – 83) – A great fan of Kraftwerk. Brought minimalism and moogs to the Vatican. Controversially ousted for delivering the mass in binary.
  8. Clement XIV (1769 – 74) – No-one ever accused him of being an original thinker, he was, however, a great linedancer.
  9. Paul III (1534 – 49) – May have been painted by Titian, but by dissolving the monasteries, King Henry VIII of England made him look like a wuss. Listened to a lot of emo.
  10. Boniface III (607) – Lovely cheekbones, but no stamina. Scored a big hit with his New Romantic version of "Tainted Love."

So there we have it, J-PII comprehensively beats off 2000 years of competition! But was he better than Elvis?

Of course, in the midst of all the fuss and bother about the dead primate, everyone’s forgotten the plight of millions of catholic AIDS sufferers. For the six people who read this site, here’s a quick reminder:

Vatican: condoms don’t stop Aids. The Guardian, 9th Oct 2003.
Vatican in HIV condom row. BBC News, 9th Oct 2003.

And here’s the official Catholic line, in the words of the head of the Pontifical Council for the Family:

All this requires a holistic vision of man and woman, of fidelity in marriage and of sex education, by which the moral aspect of the problem is taken into account. Institutions distributing condoms to children and in public schools are gravely irresponsible. Parents should react, exercising their right to defend their children, so that they are not attacked by this violent type of interference in their world of innocence.

Cardinal Lopez Trujillo on Ineffectiveness of Condoms to Curb AIDS. Catholic Online, 12th Nov 2003.

What are the chances the next doddering septugenarian to wear the funny hat will take a more reality-based approach to the AIDS pandemic?

It’s a good night from me.

And it’s a good night from him.

Pope John-Paul II waves goodbye.

Goodnight.

Related link: Next in Line. Sunday Herald, 6th Feb 2005.

Guess the Movie

Men strung up on meathooks

Junkopia kudos to the first person to identify the movie this still is from.

Kelvin and James are not allowed to enter; they can send me smug emails instead.

Wendy’s Gives Customers the Finger

Or one customer, at least.

A woman bit into a portion of a human finger while eating a bowl of chili at a Wendy’s fast-food restaurant in California, health officials said yesterday.

Officials said the fingertip was about 4cm (1.5in) long and had part of a manicured nail. The woman, who asked not to be identified, was able to spit it out, said Martin Fenstersheib, Santa Clara county’s health officer. "She was a bit grossed out, and vomited a number of times," he said.

Does anyone sense a lawsuit coming on?

Despite the visceral impact of this story, it’s nowhere near as shocking as last year’s case against Cracker Barrel, which was found to give poorer service to black customers eating at its restaurants in seven states. Those states? Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia. Yee-hah for the South.

The irony, which may not be apparent to those living outside America, is that "Cracker" is a widespread slang term for poor whites, roughly equivalent to "White Trash" or "Hillbilly." So I suppose it’s not really shocking after all, just sad.

Share and Enjoy

I don’t normally get pant-wettingly excited about movies coming out. Normally the ones I enjoy most are the ones I discover almost by accident. Recently Shaun of the Dead, Hero and Sideways were movies I went to see because I’d heard a little about them and had an inkling they might be my kind of thing. I was keen to see them, but they weren’t exactly highlighted on my calendar months in advance. I can’t tell you release dates for films any more than I can remember anniversaries.

I’ve listened to the radio series; I’ve read all four installments of the book; I can quote the odd line here and there; I regret never tracking down the TV series. The movie is out on April 29th and I’m considering going to the cinema the night it opens. I might even book tickets ahead of time because I almost wet myself earlier today when I saw the trailer.

I understand that some people are getting weak-kneed about some other science fiction/fantasy film. It seems as if they’re in denial of the fact that the two prequels of this movie left them feeling dirty and cheated. This other movie excites me not a jot.

Mundane Snaps (Part One)

A few people have been nagging at me to either send or blog photos of my everyday life: where I live, what Davis looks like, etc. On a sunny day last week I got the camera out and snapped my immediate surroundings. The results are hiding behind the password-protected post entitled "Mundane Snaps (Part Two)." I’ve passworded it just in case.

The magic word is my middle name. No caps.

World Tour of England 2005

The dates are set. Liam & Courtney’s World Tour of England will start on 1st August and conclude on 16th September of this year. That’s a whole six weeks of imposing on friends and family, running around our favourite places and checking out the things we’ve always meant to do, but never got around to. The Eden project is high on our list, especially if the Eden Sessions are on again.

Paddywhack

Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs & Ham"If Tony Blair can apologise for the Potato Famine, then I can certainly be offended on behalf of the Irish when America turns them into Dr. Seuss characters.

Reports were coming into the coffee shop this morning that a bar in town, the Graduate, was serving a green eggs and ham breakfast in honour of St. Patrick’s Day.

Green eggs and ham?

Yeah, it’s Irish.

Great! I’ll take three!

Disruptions in Service

First I changed my webhost, now I’ve changed my blogging tool. I’ve swapped Blogger for WordPress. WordPress is the bomb. WordPress is the new Movable Type. It offers me a lot more control over how things are organised, and now I’ve got proper webspace and a proper website address, I may as well have a proper full-on, fully loaded blog.

That and Rev. Rehash will denounce me as a pussy if I don’t.

I’m currently moving all my old posts over. I’ll be jiggling around the layout for a little while too, so don’t be surprised if all looks odd next time you visit. It’s still debatable whether or not being able to categorise my posts will make me any more likely to write, but I like to think it will. Indulge me in this fantasy, please.

Hyperbolic Arslikhan

Normally I am a big fan of the writing in the New Yorker. It’s elegant, sometimes witty and often precise and descriptive. Even the piece on the British foxhunting debate, which portrayed Britain in a modern version of the old sweeping stereotypes, was just about within my tolerance. I just read it as a fun story rather than a serious piece about the real world. And let’s face it, for many, many Americans – even the educated liberal middle-classes who form the New Yorker’s core audience, Europe is just a fun story, a place to go on holiday. So, despite the occasional wrongheaded opinion piece and the articles about other cultures which fail to pick up on the cultural nuances, I’m always glad to see the latest issue sitting in the mail box. It’s a good read and I can accept the bad apple in the barrel.

Daniel Zalewski’s article about Dutch architect Rem Koolhaas, head of the OMA agency, which appeared in the March 14th issue, is more than a bad apple. It’s so rotten it deserves to be reproduced in Private Eye’s Pseud’s Corner.

Migration

After a second overquota problem from Portland, I’ve decided to cut my losses and change web hosts. I now have a ridiculous amount of webspace, and bandwidth limits I’m in no danger of exceeding.

And it’s a lovely sunny day in California. T-shirt weather already. Here’s a view from our balcony.

Spinning brass twisted metal ornament hanging on our balcony.

Death Watch

Rev. Rehash on www.rehashinate.com has a little banner in support of two Iranian bloggers whose government has denied their right to freedom of expression and detained them without trial. Reading the story and doing a little research led me – as these things often do – to investigating the death penalty. Specifically, which countries have abolished the death penalty and when they did it.

The top five makes surprising reading. I never knew that Venezuela and Costa Rica were so progressive.

Don’t squeeze my udders, smack me up!

Sigur Rós sleepwalker image.I’ve been kind-of a fan for years, ever since I saw them in support of Radiohead in Oxford, but recently I’ve been getting more into Sigur Rós. Yes, yes, I know I’ve come to them fairly late, but I’ve not been buying quite as many CDs for the last couple of years and it’s not as if they get any airplay on US radio.

No, the reason I’m getting into them quite so much besides Jonsi’s voice, the bowed guitar, the lush arrangements and haunting melodies, is because they have a very sensible website. Rather against the norm, it’s extremely informative, doesn’t stream music at you unbidden and, best of all, offers a plethora of free high-quality mp3s for you to download. It’s enough to pique my interest, and it’s in keeping with the band’s ethos that they treat their fans as real human beings rather than cashcows.

I bought ágætis byrjun and thanks to the website I know how to pronounce it too. I expect I’ll be getting hold of () next. Being able to get hold of tunes for free has – shock – made me more likely to buy the band’s music. Big record companies are so not rock’n’roll. If they were they’d know the best business model is the heroin dealer’s: the first couple of fixes are free – after that you pay.

While I’m on the subject of music downloading, the restrictions programmed into files bought from iTunes, Napster, etc. make buying from them a real rip-off. Thankfully there are some sites that sell downloadable music without the DRM. One of them is run by Warp records and through it you can buy music from a cool (if small) selection of labels – including Ninja Tune. Oh yes. It’s called Bleep.

It’s not as good as having a CD with liner notes, but it is cheaper.

Finally, what could be more intriguing than a stone marimba made by a man in a hobbit hole? The story of a man who makes stone marimbas in hobbit holes badly translated from German, perhaps?

“Super” bowl

Picture this:

Sexy all-American girl (white skin, blonde hair, wide mouth) sitting astride a supersized bucking bronco machine, holding supersized burger. A bluesy rawk riff chugs and stomps in the background. The bronco bucks in gelatinous slo-mo. The girl sways atop, one hand in the air, the other still wrapped around the burger. Burger gets bitten, swallowed. Creamy oesophagus. Close-up of denim clad rump. Finally the girl, looking sultry to camera, pokes tongue from between glistening lips to lick grease from her fingers. Fade to black. Caption: "Eat right. Exercise more."

I wish I’d made up this cretinous conflation of bad food, bad music, patriotic schmaltz and cheap sexpolitation, but it was just on the telly. Another reason I don’t like the Superbowl, besides the fact that the sport itself is MONUMENTALLY boring. And of course, it’s being shown on "Faahx" this year so the opening ceremony was full of war veterans and a choir of wholesome young things in uniform. No boobs this year. No siree. We’re going to keep this thing wholesome.

Do Not Adjust Your Set

Welcome back, everyone! After about three weeks of downtime I’m able to post again. Bad news is, Portland have completely erased the contents of my website. And while Blogger (the thing which keeps everything organised) maintains an archive of all the text somewhere else, it does not do the same for the pictures. All the graphics are gone, gone, gone. Many of them will remain so because my backups are all over the place. Some stuff was on my Acorn back in Worcester, some stuff was on Courtney’s Dell laptop which got a new hard drive, and less essential stuff never got backed up at all.

Hopefully the bare bones look won’t last for long.

Re-make-Re-model

Still image from Vertigo, Alfred Hitchcock, 1958.Vertigo (1958) is a film about a man who attempts to turn the clock back in pursuit of an image of a woman he loves. The Madeline he loves is not the Madeline who is Elster’s wife. Nor is she Judy, the woman who has been paid by Elster to act as his wife. The Madeline Scotty has fallen in love with is a fiction.

When he thinks she is dead he breaks down. When he recovers he sees Judy on the street. As he attempts to make her back into Madeline he is attempting to return to an impossible past. At the moment his vision is fully realised it is snatched away from him. Judy plummets to her death just as Madeline did before her.

Now, compare to La Jetée (1962). The protagonist of La Jetée lives in a post-apocalyptic Paris. He is sent into the past by evil experimenters. He is a better candidate for time travel than others because his memory is strongly marked by an image of his past, the image of a woman. He travels backwards in time and finds this woman. He makes several more trips back in time, and each time he meets her. They become friends, they fall in love.

Image from La Jetée, Chris. Marker, 1962Finally the experimenters are satisfied he can cope with being sent to whichever point in time they choose. He is sent into the future to bring back a power plant which will save the human race. Once he has fulfilled this task he is returned to his prison cell. The virtuous people of the future come to him in his cell and offer to accept him as one of their own. He declines. He doesn’t want to live in the future. He wants to return to the past and the woman he loves. They oblige. He is returned to the moment he remembers so vividly. He has achieved his return to an impossible past, and at the moment of its consummation it is snatched away from him, just like it is taken from Scotty.

Aside from these parallels in the storyline there are visual clues. The hairstyle of the woman in La Jetée is sometimes the same as Madeline’s in Vertigo, but most importantly, there is a brief scene in La Jetée where the man points to a point beyond a sequioa tree stump to show the woman where in time he comes from. The shot of their hands is very similar to Judy/Madeline’s in Vertigo.

Marker drops clues in Sans Soleil and on his CD-ROM Immemory. From the script of Sans Soleil:

The small Victorian hotel where Madeline disappeared had disappeared itself; concrete had replaced it, at the corner of Eddy and Gough. On the other hand the sequoia cut was still in Muir Woods. On it Madeline traced the short distance between two of those concentric lines that measured the age of the tree and said, “Here I was born… and here I died.”

He remembered another film in which this passage was quoted. The sequoia was the one in the Jardin des plantes in Paris, and the hand pointed to a place outside the tree, outside of time.

And now, writing about how San Francisco has changed since Vertigo was made in Immemory:

The Redwood round is still at the entry to Muir Woods on the other side of the bay, it has had more luck than its sister at the Jardin des Plantes, now relegated to a basement. (Vertigo could almost be shot in the same decors today, unlike its remake in Paris).

Terry Gilliam’s Twelve Monkeys is a remake of La Jetée, but that doesn’t mean it’s a re-remake of Vertigo. What Marker took from Hitchcock was the central relationship between the man and the woman and its exploration of the workings of memory and desire. What Gilliam took from Marker was the idea of sending people backwards and forwards in time to save the present. In fact, Gilliam didn’t develop the idea for Twelve Monkeys and he came to direct the film having never seen La Jetée. He watched it later. The screenwriters of Twelve Monkeys, it seems to me, missed the core of La Jetée – or maybe what they wanted to take from the film and make anew simply wasn’t what I think is vitally important about it.

Sunless

Today, thanks to Courtney’s Mum’s Christmas generosity, I was reunited with one of my favourite films, Chris. Marker’s Sans Soleil. After five viewings and a very bad undergraduate thesis on time, memory and film, I still haven’t puzzled my way through all its layers of meaning, but it’s ever present in my mental film archive. I find myself trying to see places and events through Marker’s lens, to reach his level of understanding. Perhaps by doing so I will solve not just the mysteries of time, but also the movie.

Accompanying Sans Soleil on the DVD is another of Marker’s films, also one of my favourites, La Jetée. In Marker’s words, it is a remake of Hitchcock’s Vertigo (another of my favourites), and it is the movie which was remade as Terry Gilliam’s Twelve Monkeys. It is a film about time travel told (almost) entirely in still images. In the liner notes for the DVD, Marker writes that

…it’s rather in order to bring some comfort to young filmmakers in need that I mention these few technical details: the material for La Jetée has been created with a Pentax 24 x 36, and the only "cinema" part (the blinking of the eyes) with an Arriflex 35mm camera, borrowed for one hour. Sans Soleil was entirely shot with a 16mm Beaulieu silent film camera (not one synch take within the whole film) with 100ft reels – 2’44 autonomy! – and a small cassette recorder – not even a Walkman, they didn’t exist yet … No silly boasting here, just the conviction that today, with the advent of computer and small DV camera (unintentional homage to Dziga Vertov), would-be directors need no longer to submit their fate to the unpredictability of producers, or the arthritis of televisions, and that by following their whims or passions, they will perhaps see one day their tinkering elevated to DVD-status by honorable men.

Chris. Marker is one of my heroes.

I have just discovered a site, markertext.com which did not exist last time I looked, which offers a transcription of the narration of Sans Soleil complete with links explaining some of the references. I expect to spend quite some time poring over it. What a fantastic use of the educational possibilities of the internet!

Still image from Sans Soleil, Chris. Marker, 1982"My personal problem is more specific: how to film the ladies of Bissau? Apparently, the magical function of the eye was working against me there. It was in the marketplaces of Bissau and Cape Verde that I could stare at them again with equality: I see her, she saw me, she knows that I see her, she drops me her glance, but just at an angle where it is still possible to act as though it was not addressed to me, and at the end the real glance, straightforward, that lasted a twenty-fourth of a second, the length of a film frame."

Once I have finished my Vertigo pilgrimage around San Francisco, I have a new destination. In the district of Shinjuku, Tokyo, there is a bar dedicated to La Jetée. When famous filmmakers drop in they draw a picture of a cat on their whisky bottle. Coppola, Scorsese, Wenders and Jarmusch have all paid homage.